Real girl, made of words

I'm so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis

4 notes

faraway-stars:

so when my dad was in high school he had a guidance teacher that was clinically insane
she’d walk around the halls flicking a lighter on and off
later they realised she had escaped from a mental hospital.
and they had hired her to counsel children

17,761 notes

me trying to read fanfiction

conversationparade:

‘she tripped, but a pair of strong arms grabbed hold of her from behind before she hit the floor’

‘…she tilted her head back to look into his eyes, enjoying the feel of his warm arms wrapped around her torso’

‘…her hands intertwined behind his neck as their lips met’

‘…she wrapped her legs around his waist as

(via narratorofsnark)

Filed under omg

24,066 notes

i get walked into in the hall:
sorry
i get knocked and drop my books:
sorry
i get pushed against the wall:
sorry
i get pushed down a couple of stairs:
sorry
i get pushed out the window:
sorry
i get run over by a car:
sorry
i get murdered:
sorry

73,579 notes

Doctor:
Are you sexually active?
Me:
Ha
Me:
Hahahaha
Me:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Me:
HAHA THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
Me:
OH MY GOD WHAT IS AIR
Me:
JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL OH MY GOD
Me:
Hahaha
Me:
Haaa....
Me:
Whooooooo, that was a good one.
Me:
No, no I am not.